Sunday, July 24, 2011

Apple review: iPhone 5 a mainstream blessing as geeks wank on cult status



“Some people get a Droid because they want a phone, not a religion,” says the geek who in doing so unwittingly admits that he has no idea why the mainstream increasingly leads toward Apple products.

The iPhone 5 is on its way and is bringing the first-ever simultaneous launch of a new iPhone model on multiple carriers. While T-Mobile and Sprint remain question marks, Verizon and AT&T are locks for it and have 75% of the U.S. market between them. Verizon just said this week that it’s banking on the iPhone 5 to take it to new marketshare heights after having stalled out during the stretch in which the Droid was its flagship product.
And yet even the iPhone continues to almost single handedly drive AT&T’s growth and Verizon is counting on the iPhone to do the same for it, geeks still find themselves wanking over their own inability to understand how the iPhone 5 is being positioned by the carriers such that it’ll achieve the kind of stratospheric marketshare which Apple’s other products like the iPad, iPod, and iTunes enjoy. For the record, the geeks told the mainstream not to buy any of those Apple products, either.

Religion, they say. Cult status, they repeat on autopilot as if unaware that their holy war against Apple products is far more cult like than anything they accuse Apple buyers of doing. They just don’t get it, you see, because phrases like “ease of use” simply don’t exist in their vocabulary.

Quality and consistency don’t much matter to the geeks either. Those are secondary to what they’d call “openness” and “customization” but you’d call hackability. Getting to the underlying file structure on a Droid is more important to them than the protections Apple builds into the iPhone in order to ensure that none of the hundreds of thousands of third party app developers who have their wares in Apple’s App Store can do any real damage to your iPhone if their apps turn out to be incompetent.

But geeks see their devices primarily as hacking toys anyway, with factors like stability an afterthought. They’re also too busy bragging about the slightly larger screen on their Android phone to stop and realize that it’s a significantly lower resolution than that of the iPhone 4 or particularly that of the upcoming iPhone 5

As it turns out, having something to brag about is more important to the typical geek than having something they can put to good use. That leaves the geeks buying Droid phones in the position of having the precise cult-like sense of self worth tied to their phone platform as they accuse iPhone users of having.

Those geek blinders have led them to mistakenly believe that mainstream Android marketshare can be attributed to anything other than the fact that the iPhone wasn’t available on any carrier but AT&T for the first four years of its existence (for proof, look at the staggeringly dominant marketshare the iPad has over Android tablets, as the iPad is not tied to a carrier).

As such, when the iPhone 5 arrives on multiple carriers and Android marketshare begins to significantly erode, the geeks will have no idea that it’s because most current mainstream Android users wanted an iPhone all along. Instead they’ll lament how those people were sucked into a “religious cult” instead. Here’s more on the  iPhone 5.
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